Comments on: Welcome http://marykarmstrong.com Confessions of a Trauma Therapist - Mary K. Armstrong Mon, 20 Feb 2012 14:42:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Karen Glasgow http://marykarmstrong.com/#comment-2450 Karen Glasgow Thu, 16 Feb 2012 17:43:44 +0000 http://marykarmstrong.com/?page_id=100#comment-2450 The question you asked was what would I say when someone discloses sexual abuse. My first thought is safety for the person disclosing the abuse as their safety and comfort level is paramount to their recovery. I would ask if they wanted to talk about what they had disclosed, if there was someone they trusted or some place they felt safe where they could stay. I have found that allowing the one who discloses to set the pace helps them gain a sense of control over their life, asking what they are comfortable sharing. I would gather as much information as possible and advise them of my obligation to report the information to authorities if they are minors. I would ask them if they want to tell or me to tell? Since secrets are so deadly to the abused I would explain why they should "tell" the authorities". And I have found that many of my abuse victims were abused by authority such as police, judges, ministers, teachers, or relatives, so they have little to no faith in a justice system where those who sworn to protect them are the abusers. Then we must first consider safety of the victim before prosecution of the perpetrator. Once the victim is safe then we confront the perpetrators. The list of perpetrators includes: police officers, judges, minister, brothers fathers, mothers, minister, uncle, doctors, therapist... The question you asked was what would I say when someone discloses sexual abuse. My first thought is safety for the person disclosing the abuse as their safety and comfort level is paramount to their recovery. I would ask if they wanted to talk about what they had disclosed, if there was someone they trusted or some place they felt safe where they could stay. I have found that allowing the one who discloses to set the pace helps them gain a sense of control over their life, asking what they are comfortable sharing. I would gather as much information as possible and advise them of my obligation to report the information to authorities if they are minors. I would ask them if they want to tell or me to tell? Since secrets are so deadly to the abused I would explain why they should “tell” the authorities”. And I have found that many of my abuse victims were abused by authority such as police, judges, ministers, teachers, or relatives, so they have little to no faith in a justice system where those who sworn to protect them are the abusers. Then we must first consider safety of the victim before prosecution of the perpetrator. Once the victim is safe then we confront the perpetrators. The list of perpetrators includes: police officers, judges, minister, brothers fathers, mothers, minister, uncle, doctors, therapist…

]]> By: Claire Holcomb http://marykarmstrong.com/#comment-333 Claire Holcomb Tue, 22 Nov 2011 01:40:18 +0000 http://marykarmstrong.com/?page_id=100#comment-333 Hi Mary, I applaud your book. I have worked with trauma survivors for 30 years and am one myself. This dual track has sometimes been confusing; often helpful; sometimes painful. But I wish there were more therapists who would talk about their own abuse. We all know that probablly a lot of us were.Same goes for battered women. I will get your book and enjoy it. I am 72; work part-time; and devote rest of time to working on a novel. Married with dog. Hah. (And , yes, the novel does have a sexually abused character.) Again. Cheers for your guts. Best, Claire Holcomb-Drapkin (my 'Psychology Today' page is under 'Holcomb." PS I am not very literate on computers. Hence, I don't really 'get it' about where comments here go. I guess by saying this, to you, so freely, is 'coming clean.' It was a long struggle, but almost totally it is gone. Thank God. Hi Mary,

I applaud your book. I have worked with trauma survivors
for 30 years and am one myself. This dual track has sometimes been confusing; often helpful; sometimes painful.

But I wish there were more therapists who would talk about their own abuse. We all know that probablly a lot of us were.Same goes for battered women.

I will get your book and enjoy it.

I am 72; work part-time; and devote rest of time to working on a novel. Married with dog. Hah. (And , yes, the novel does have a sexually abused character.)

Again. Cheers for your guts.

Best, Claire Holcomb-Drapkin (my ‘Psychology Today’ page is under ‘Holcomb.”

PS I am not very literate on computers. Hence, I don’t really ‘get it’ about where comments here go. I guess by saying this, to you, so freely, is ‘coming clean.’ It was a long struggle, but almost totally it is gone. Thank God.

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